Santa, That's My Only Wish This Year
by Angelina Johnson
Summary: When Jaime draws Brienne for the Starks' Secret Santa party, he tries to use his gift to convey just how much he's grown to care about her. (Modern AU, written for JB Appreciation Week 2019)


It's the first week of December when Robb Stark thrusts a stupid red and green elf hat under Jaime's nose and insists _"Draw _." Jaime looks at him as if he's half-mad when he does it, but eventually, he obliges, sticking his hand into the depths of the hat and not removing it until there was a tiny piece of paper grasped between his fingers.

"Secret Santa on the 22nd. Brienne says you're in town then, so you have no excuse to miss it," Robb informs him sharply, and Jaime has to resist the urge to roll his eyes. The Starks are so damned dramatic - not just sometimes, _all _of the time, including when it comes to holiday traditions.

He doesn't _want _to be dragged into this. The Starks only tolerate him because of Brienne anyway, and he feels the same right back. He doesn't want to waste a bunch of time shopping for people he barely likes, and the odds of him getting Brienne or Podrick, who he _does _enjoy, are slim.

And even if he _did _get Podrick, shopping for him seems like it would be _dreadfully _boring.

Jaime is about to inform Robb that Brienne's incorrect and that he _will _be unable to attend this enormous waste of time when he actually unfolds the paper and sees the name scrawled on it.

_Brienne Tarth _.

Instead of declining, Jaime quickly says, "I'll be there."

* * *

Shopping for Brienne is _fun _. Shopping for Brienne is like shopping for himself, only _better _because Brienne's not used to having a credit card with an irresponsibly high limit on it as an "apology" from her father for being so shitty. Brienne can't just buy anything she wants on a whim, so she's appreciative of the things that she does get. Jaime likes that about her.

Jaime likes everything about her, though.

That's part of what makes it fun, too. Because Jaime thinks that _maybe _, just maybe, if he manages to find her the perfect present, Brienne will finally realize that he's been flirting with her for _real _for the past year, thank you very much. She always acts like his attention is a joke, but it very much is not, and with each item Jaime picks up, he wonders if it will be the thing that makes Brienne realize the truth.

He spends the entire weekend that he should be studying for his finals searching and searching, and then _finally _, one day, he spies it. The _exact _thing that will make Brienne realize how much he knows and appreciates her.

Jaime spends an irrational amount of money on her gift, and then impatiently waits for the 23rd to arrive.

* * *

Jaime refuses to let anyone help him _wrap _Brienne's gift. He wants it to be personal; from the heart.

Not that Cersei would have helped him anyway. She pretends that she's _above _him and his "little friends," but Jaime knows that she's far too bitter about being excluded to be helpful. And Tyrion would have _gladly _helped, but he would have mocked Jaime to no end about why he was putting so much effort into the gift.

He wraps and rewraps it about seven times. In the end, it's still misshapen and a little messy, but he knows Brienne won't mind. She doesn't expect him to be perfect, she just expects him to be himself.

The fact that she doesn't make him feel bad for who he is and what his flaws has only made him like her more.

He hears Theon Greyjoy snicker when he puts the present under the tree at the Starks house, but he doesn't care because Brienne will like it, he just knows it.

Besides… Greyjoy won't be laughing when he sees what's _inside _.

* * *

The room is crowded full of the Starks, their significant others, and their friends. Robb and Margaery Tyrell. Her brother Loras and Renly Baratheon. Sansa and Dickon Tarly. Sam Tarly and Gilly. Jon Snow and Ygritte. Podrick and Jeyne Poole. Jon's aunt, Daenerys, with her girlfriend, who also happens to be Theon Greyjoy's sister.

Jaime and Brienne are among the only people _not _paired off, and Jaime hardly even counts them, because if it were _up _to him, they certainly would be together. Disgustingly, adorably together, putting the rest of the room full of lovebirds to shame.

Theon Greyjoy is the only one who _actually _isn't paired off, but he doesn't seem to mind. He inserts himself into everything as if he was born to be there, although when they take their seats, he does end up on a couch with Jaime and Brienne out of circumstance.

"All right, let's get this show on the road," he declares, trying to seat himself _between _Jaime and Brienne. Jaime determinedly scoots closer to her instead, forcing Greyjoy to take the seat on the side as the Secret Santa festivities begin.

* * *

Jaime doesn't pay much attention as they take turns opening gifts. He doesn't really care that Margaery's gotten Sansa some couture scarf, or that Podrick's blushing when Theon opens the gag gifts that he'd bought for him at Spencer's. He barely even cares when he opens his own gift from Dickon Tarly and finds some football autographed by a third string kicker that he apparently goes to the gym with.

As soon as it's Brienne's turn, though, Jaime's all attention. He watches as her fingers trace gently over the package, looking for where it's taped so she can rip it open without making much of a mess. He sees the calculated look on her face as she tries to wonder what the odd shaped package could be.

And then, when she finally opens it, her eyes go a wide, wondrous blue when she sees an authentic replica of the sword _Oathkeeper _in the package.

He _knew _she'd love it; she's always babbling on about what they've learned in history class that day with him, and she's been going to Renaissance Fairs and doing reenactments with the Tyrells and Renly, too. Maybe if the sword doesn't make her realize he's hopelessly in love with her, she'll at least take it as a sign to invite him along more often.

It's been more than a few seconds, and Brienne is still staring at the sword, stunned. The people gathered around seem to have finally figured out what it is, too, and Robb's the first one to break the silence.

"What the fuck? Lannister, that's cheating!" he exclaims, because his own gift to Sam was some cheap boardgame and cookies that were clearly made by his mother. Sam had been appreciative enough, but nowhere near as awed as Brienne was by her gift.

_No one _had had this kind of reaction. Brienne's cheeks flush as she notices that everyone is staring at her, but instead of turning and thanking Jaime, she rounds on Robb.

"Why would it be from Jaime?" she asks, puzzled. They hadn't _labeled _the gifts; apparently guessing was part of the fun, although Jaime doesn't feel that right now. He feels _disappointed _, that she clearly loves her gift but wants to attribute it to anyone but him.

"Who else has that kind of money?" Theon barks out.

"Who else would want to impress you that much?" Margaery giggles.

Even Podrick says, "It's obvious, isn't it?" and only then does Brienne finally turn to look him in the eyes. She still looks puzzled, like their friends words don't quite make sense to her, but she's so appreciative, and she wraps him up in a quick hug for his troubles, so Jaime will happily overlook that for now.

"Thank you, Jaime," she whispers as she pulls back from him, and as the rest of the lot unwrap their gifts, Jaime's thoughts linger on how close her lips had been to his ear when she'd said it instead.

* * *

The rest of the party passes in a blur. There are snacks, and games, and all sorts of strange Stark traditions that Jaime doesn't really care for, although he _supposes _he could say he enjoyed himself.

Mostly, though, he's just waiting for it to end so he can walk Brienne home.

Under normal circumstances, he would just drive and drop her off, but he wants to savor time with her. He wants to _really _see if the sword has gotten his point across, or if she's still just as clueless about his feelings as ever.

She looks suspiciously between Jaime and his car, but then shrugs and accepts his offer.

Normally, Jaime can't _stop _talking, but after the initial elation of her not being too _practical _to go for a nice winter walk, there's a nervousness hanging over him.

"You really didn't need to get me something so nice, Jaime," she finally says, although she's clutching onto the sword as they walk as if it's something precious and she'll never let it go.

"I didn't _have _to. I wanted to," he tells her pointedly, and she has that curious look in her eyes again, the one she'd flashed earlier when people had been so certain her gift could only be from Jaime. Like she didn't quite understand him, but she was afraid to ask.

Too bad he was too damn scared to just _say _. He can't just come out with it and put his heart on the line, no matter how much he knew he should. Instead, Jaime asks her flippantly, "The real one's coming through town soon, did you know?"

Brienne's eyes light up, and she nods. Of _course _she knew; she looks like she's brimming with excitement about the possibility of seeing it, and before he can lose his courage, Jaime says, "I hope you'll let me take you."

He means it as a date; he wants it to be a date _so _badly, but it seems that his gift and his flirting and _everything _, it still hasn't clicked into place for her.

"Of course. I figured we'd all go," she replies, still just as happy on the surface. Jaime's not as happy, though; he's been in too many situations like this one with her, where he's _so _close to just going for it but then he lets it pass.

"I mean, _sure _, everyone else is fine, but I meant just us," he corrects her gently, searching her face, hoping for the realization there. Hoping she'll finally understand.

"I'm sorry for the way they teased you earlier," Brienne says instantly, clarifying, "My friends. If them teasing you about… about…"

She blushes, and she can't even stammer out the words. At least she'd read the implication there: that everyone but her had figured out how he felt about her. That everyone knew his intentions, _except _for Brienne.

"Well," she continues on, leaving the words unsaid. "I know it's not nice to have them assume things about you that aren't true, but it'll be rather hard to keep them from assuming if you keep asking me to do things like go to fancy sword exhibits all on their own. Just… so you're prepared, that it'll give them the wrong idea."

Some of her happiness about the gift seems to have deflated, and Jaime doesn't know how this has gone so wrong. He's been looking forward to this for _ages _. Or at least for the nearly three weeks since Robb had given him his Secret Santa assignment!

"What makes you so sure the things they're assuming aren't true?" Jaime snaps, sounding crosser than he'd meant to. He's not mad at her, not _really _; he knows her well enough to know why she so stubbornly refuses to believe he's fallen for her. It's more the world he's mad at than Brienne; if it hadn't been so damn cruel to her, maybe it would be easier to just ask her out already.

It's the opposite of easy, really. She looks puzzled again, like it should be _obvious _why they're wrong, and Jaime laments the fact that feelings and _dating _and being utterly besotted with your best friend are so, so hard.

The walk has gone quicker than Jaime would like, or maybe he's just slower than he should be getting his intentions across. They're on Brienne's porch now, and she's using her free hand to reach for her keys while her other still clutches Oathkeeper. She's about to go inside and close the door on them, and he's about to miss _another _window of opportunity.

Jaime's sick of missing them. High school's nearly done, and he's running out of time.

Jaime reaches out and grabs for the hand that's searching for keys, grasping onto it until she looks up at him, wide-eyed and apparently forever confused by him.

"Brienne. They're _not _wrong," he insists, a desperate edge to his voice. Jaime hadn't meant for the day to go like this, but in the weeks leading up to it, he'd always imagined she'd _know _, by the time Secret Santa was done. "They're not wrong, and I'm going to _keep _asking you to do things, just the two of us, because it just so happens that I would like to date you, thank you very much."

Jaime has seen Brienne startled on a number of occasions, but never quite so startled as she is now. Hells, he thinks his face probably matches hers; he's surprised that he's said it, but now that it's out there, he can't take it back. He wouldn't want to.

She opens her mouth then closes it several times, like she's trying to think of what to say, and finally her brows furrow in that way they always do before she scolds him. He stops her before she can continue, though, anticipating her protests before she even gets them out.

"No, I'm _not _japing, I'm quite serious. Everyone else in that room sees it but you, Brienne. Now, are you going to give me an answer, or am I going to have to try to ask you out _again _? I happen to like you very much, and I expect I'm _always _going to like you very much. Here, look," he insists, reaching out to touch her sword.

"I like you, Brienne Tarth, that's an _oath _. I'm touching an Oathkeeper replica, which means I'm by law forbidden to ever _stop _liking you now." He's making things up, rambling on, because her silence is deafening. He thought the surprise was a pleasant one, but maybe he's misread it. Maybe she's disgusted, or maybe, even after all this time being friends, she still can't trust him to keep his promise that he's _serious _and that she means something to him in _that _way.

(It's an oath Jaime's going to keep, though. He may break lots of promises in his lifetime, but he never, ever wants to break this one.)

Finally, _finally _, Brienne gives him an answer. It's not with her words, though. There, in the dim glow of her porch light, with a Christmas tree twinkling just inside the window and snow gently starting to fall, she tilts her head down to kiss him. Tentatively, a little clumsily, but Jaime considers it perfect all the same.

"This is a _way _better Christmas gift than Dickon gave me," Jaime says smugly when she pulls back from him, his heart hammering in his chest. He's not sure it'll _ever _calm down, not after the girl he's liked for more than a year has finally kissed him. Brienne's cheeks are pink and her smile is just as wide as his is, even as she rolls her eyes fondly and invites him inside.


End file.
